Bye Bye, My Little Girl
As I write this, I'm waiting for a nice lady mobile vet to stop by and put my little dog Nikki out of her suffering. Nikki's been going downhill for a couple months now. I've had two different vets give me two different answers as to what's the problem. One said that it was a pinched nerve in her back (which has rounded considerably in the past few months), the other said she had a severe case of anemia. I think they're both right, but the sad fact is that the massive fungus infection that led to three major operations early last year likely took it's toll and advanced her chronological clock, and she is 14 years old.
This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I know that a lot of people would say "it's no big deal --just a dog," but I absolutely love this little girl. I remember when we got her at about 6 weeks old. She fit in my hand like this little black hamster. I adored her from the very beginning. She reminded me a lot of Smokey, a little black dog I had as a kid. I don't bond with all animals, but when I do I get very attached.
Nikki was always absolutely headstrong. Life to her was a test of wills. She easily bossed around my stepdaughter's black lab that outweighed her by at least 80 lbs. She was very stingy with her affection, but when she licked my nose it felt like I had received the biggest smooch in the world.
I've often characterized Nikki as my "first born" and that I wanted her to outlive me so that I wouldn't have to face this day. Unfortunately, it has come. I've tried to will her back to health, like I did successfully when she almost died after all those serious surgeries, and I don't give up.
However, maybe Epictetus wasn't entirely wrong when he talked about the necessity to "cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." I can't will Nikki back to health, no matter how hard I try. My friend Connie, to whom I often turn for inspiration, told me that several days ago. The best I can do is tell Nikki that I love her and have always loved her as she goes into a gentle sleep.
JW
This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I know that a lot of people would say "it's no big deal --just a dog," but I absolutely love this little girl. I remember when we got her at about 6 weeks old. She fit in my hand like this little black hamster. I adored her from the very beginning. She reminded me a lot of Smokey, a little black dog I had as a kid. I don't bond with all animals, but when I do I get very attached.
Nikki was always absolutely headstrong. Life to her was a test of wills. She easily bossed around my stepdaughter's black lab that outweighed her by at least 80 lbs. She was very stingy with her affection, but when she licked my nose it felt like I had received the biggest smooch in the world.
I've often characterized Nikki as my "first born" and that I wanted her to outlive me so that I wouldn't have to face this day. Unfortunately, it has come. I've tried to will her back to health, like I did successfully when she almost died after all those serious surgeries, and I don't give up.
However, maybe Epictetus wasn't entirely wrong when he talked about the necessity to "cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." I can't will Nikki back to health, no matter how hard I try. My friend Connie, to whom I often turn for inspiration, told me that several days ago. The best I can do is tell Nikki that I love her and have always loved her as she goes into a gentle sleep.
JW
posted by Jerry Werner | 9:10 AM
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